Perspective

Sometimes when I step back and look at how things are playing out in our lives, I am amazed to see how well the Lord is taking care of us. A couple months ago, as our stake was preparing for the dedication of the Oquirrh Mountain Temple which would be our new temple, the Stake Presidency challenged us to participate in a 40 day fast. Each day of the 40 days, a family from our ward would take their turn fasting. When the member of the Stake Presidency was issuing the challenge, he also left a Priesthood Blessing with our ward. I don’t remember the exact words he said, but I do remember that one of the things that we were promised if we would participate in the fast was that our greatest challenges would be resolved. I immediately started to think of our greatest challenges in life that I would like resolved. I think I listed three or four things that I was struggling with at the time. After the 40 days, it was amazing to hear the miraculous blessings that were experienced in the Stake. And as I thought back to those 3 or 4 things I had listed, I realized that 3 out of the 4 had disappeared—taken care of through amazingly small but miraculous means. It was painful to realize though that the number one thing I had listed as our greatest challenge in life had not gone away, but in fact had gotten much worse. I struggled to understand how that could be. At the time, I decided it must mean that Heavenly Father’s perspective of ‘our greatest challenges’ was definitely different than my limited human perspective, and I tried to accept and just be very grateful for the blessings we had received. But now I realize that even that idea was based on a limited perspective. The greatest challenge that I had listed at that time was Little Man’s seizures. They had been increasing and we were waiting for an appointment with his neurologist. At the time of the appointment, he had been taking 2.5 ml of Keppra everyday. Over the next two months, as the seizures continued to increase, the dosage was gradually increased until he was taking 7 ml daily. And still, he was experiencing 10-15 seizures a day, more than he had ever had before. Reluctantly, we decided to try a new medicine. He has been on that medicine now for one week. We probably won’t see results for a month or so, as he started out on a very small dosage and we had to gradually increase it over the next month until he is up to full strength. It was scary to make the change. The Keppra has little to no side effects. This new medicine is called Depicote, and can have serious side effect including liver damage and/or failure. In fact, because of the risk of liver problems we will now have to go every three months to have his blood drawn and tested. And I’m not talking about a finger prick. I’m talking about a full blood drawn, needle in the arm kind of thing. Can you image how my little four year old is going to react to that! (2 Timothy 1:7, 2 Timothy 1:7, 2 Timothy 1:7) But in spite of the risks, we have felt confirmation that this is the right step. We have been blessed with inspiration to help LM be able to take it (it is in sprinkle/capsule form instead of the liquid he is used to). We know this is the right thing to do. Which takes me back to those days when I couldn’t understand why our greatest challenge was getting worse instead being resolved as I had hoped it would be. And now I think, maybe it had to get worse in order for us to make a decision that we would not have made ordinarily. And maybe this new medicine is the answer to resolving this challenge right now. So in the long run, our greatest challenge was being addressed, even though I didn’t see it that way at the time. Only time will tell if this is the case, but either way, I do know that Heavenly Father understands our challenges and concerns and is helping us through this. I know He loves us. And I know He loves Little Man—even more than I do. I must accept His Will, trusting that He is working for all our best interests.